I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
