watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
