dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize