don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
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