if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
