wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
