I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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