I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
