i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
