After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
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