sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
