why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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