He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
