Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
