so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
