Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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