On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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