he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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