i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Randomize
