For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
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