i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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