I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
