Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
