Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
