I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
