butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I got a call from 999 999 9999. I didn't answer it because I was too busy freaking out about the number.
It was probably Jesus.
I feel like he would have left a message.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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