Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
