New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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