Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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