Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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