Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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