Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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