I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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