He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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