I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
