i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
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it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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