Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
