Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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