you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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