Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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