The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
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