I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
