Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
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You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize