I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
