I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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