Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Randomize
