This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
