Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Randomize
