new low.... made out with someone while peeing
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize