Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
