He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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