At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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