it wasn't lemon gatorade
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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