that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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