My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize