If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
