I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
