Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
