I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
