I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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