Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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