the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
