This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
