just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
