i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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