Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
he's single and there are thong briefs.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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