Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Randomize
