If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
