so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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