i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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