You're so nebulous sometimes
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Randomize
